Harry Potter vs Edward Cullen
by Totally-Yatal
Summary: It's a crossover and rocks! WOOO!
1. Part 1

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight OR Harry Potter!! This was for the fun of it!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I got the idea for this from a video by NoMoreMarbles and a lot of the dialogue is from it, the rest of the series isn't though!**

**(NOTE It's in the form of a script, so it's not like a book!!)**

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Harry: HEAR ME VAMPIRES! I AM HARRY POTTER!! And I'm not leaving until you're dead!

Edward: That's a pretty bold statement for a short kid in a dress.

Harry: ROBES! HOW DARE YOU!! Wait...Cedric? Is that you?

Edward: Huh?

Harry: Oh Cedric! I thought you where dead!

Edward: What the are you talking about?

Harry: You- You don't remember me Ceddy? The egg? The bath? The way I held your lifeless body close to my chest?

Edward: Wow, wow, wow!

Emmet: Dude! He held you in a bath with an egg?

Edward: No!

Emmet: Where was I when this happened?

Edward: I don't even know this magic loving, dress wearing, tike!

Harry: What magic is this?

Edward: I'm not Cedric, you moron, I'm a vampire.

Harry: I see, then I shall be forced to end you.

Edward: snapping noise

Harry: What do you bloody well think you're doing? THAT WAS MY WAND! Oh wait, that was my wand. My wand. You-You-You br-br-oke m-my wand. No wand, no wand!


	2. Part 2

STARRING:

Harry Potter

Edward Cullen

Bella Swan

Emmet Cullen

Esme Cullen

Alice Cullen

&

Alex Cullen (Alice's made up sister)

**(NOTE I did the cast because there are different people and I bet you would want to know who they are!)**

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Bella: Edward, where were you? I went to school and you weren't...What is that nervous wreak?

Harry: curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth No wand. No wand. No wand!

Edward: Uh, yeah. This psycho dude just came and was all...I'M HARRY POTTER! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Emmet: And he held Edward in a bath with an egg!

Bella: What? When? Where was I when this happened?

Edward: No! No! He never did! I don't know what he was talking about!

Emmet: Sure Edward. Lie to your girlfriend.

Edward: I'm not lying Bella! I swear! Swear on my parent's graves!

Bella: Uh-huh. Yeah. And what have you been doing today?

Edward: sigh This guy came and said he was gonna kill me, and then called me Cedric...

Emmet: And Ceddy!

Edward: Shut up. Anyway, he was just rambling on about how he was friends with that Cedric guy and kept calling me Cedric. Then I told him I was a vampire and he was all, "I see, then I must kill you." And I just walked up to him and snapped his stick that he called "wand" and he freaked out and now you're here.

Bella: So he didn't hold you in a bath with an egg?

Edward: No!

Bella: Okay, good. Now what's wrong with him?

Edward: I broke his stick!

Harry: NOT STICK WAND!! _WAND!! _Wait...where is my wand?

Edward: I broke it.

Harry: GASP You-You broke my w-wand?

Bella: You mean stick?

Harry: BIGGER GASP It's a wand woman! WAND!! W-A-N-D, WAND!! SHOULD I SAY IT SLOWER?

Esme: Hey Bella, when did you get here? And...who's your friend?

Edward: He's not my friend! He a guy that said he was gonna kill me called me Cedric...

Emmet: Was in a bath with Edward and an egg...

Edward: SHUT UP! I broke his stick.

Harry: IT'S-A-WAND!!

Bella: A magic stick.

Harry: WAND!

Alice: Hi everyone!

Alex: Who's the short kid in a dress?

Harry: ROBES!!

Alice: Why are you wearing a bath-robe in public short one?

Harry: IT'S NOT A BATH-ROBE!! And I'm not that short.

Esme: Okay...

Bella: You know, he is kinda short.

Edward: I know right?

Alex: Totally short!

TO BE CONTINUED!


	3. Part 3

STARRING:

Harry Potter

Edward Cullen

Bella Swan

Alice Cullen

Alex Cullen

&

Kat Potter (Harry's made up sister)

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Bella: Edward! He creeps me out, I think he's mentally challenged or pshyco, if you know what I mean.

Alice: Yeah, before we know it he going to start saying that he lives near the valley of hope and wonder!

Alex: And! And! He's gonna try to take us to Candy Mountain!

Edward: I'll try to get him out of here, but I still think he wants to kill me...

Bella: Ha! Kill you! I still think that's funny.

Edward: He says that he goes to "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"!

Bella: turns to Harry Um, do you have a cell phone?

Harry: Who me?

Bella: Yeah!

Harry: Oh, yeah, here...

Alex: Do you have any mental problems?

Edward: elbows Alex Sh!

Alex: What? You have to admit, he is nuts...

Bella: picks any random number, for speed dial, and calls Harry's sister

Kat: What do you want Harry? I'm busy staring at the wall.

Bella: Do you know him?

Kat: Harry, I thought you got rid of your girly voice!

Bella: I'm not Harry.

Kat: Oh...Who are you and why are you calling me?

Bella: Um, I'm Bella..

Kat: OOOHHHH! A girl! Really! Well, I have to admit, I didn't know Harry could hold down a girlfriend!

Bella: Ew! No! I don't even know him!

Kat: Oh. Then what do you want?

Bella: Are you Harry's friend...

Kat: STOP RIGHT THERE! I AM NOT HARRY'S FRIEND!

Bella: Jeez, you Brits yell a lot.

Kat: What do you want anyway?

Bella: Take you brother back.

Kat: Why?

Bella: Because he's a freak!

Kat: That's true...

Bella: So take him back!

Kat: No! I finally got him off my shoulders.

Bella: hangs up phone

Alice: Now what?

Alex: I got it! How about...we freeze him...yeah...and then we thaw him like...300 years into the future! He would be totally creeped out!

Edward: That retarded.

Bella: I think it's awesome!

Alice: I third Alex's motion.

Edward: We are not freezing the meantally challenged dude!

Bella: Why not?

Edward: Because it's stupid!

Alice: Let's push him off a cliff!

Bella: Or! Or! We could freeze him and then push him off a cliff!

Alex: I'm with Bella.

Alice: Me too.

Edward: Lets just drop him off at his place where he wants to go and be done with it!

Bella: No

Edward: Yes

Bella: But what if he's like an Alligator?

Edward: What?

Bella: When an Alligator first enters a house or something, it's not afraid to come back. What if he's like that?

Alex: Excuse me? Dude? Are you like an Alligator?

Harry: What?

Edward: Alex!

Alex: What? It's just a question!

TO BE CONTINUED!


	4. Author's Way Overdue Note

**Author's Note**

Um...Hi. It's been a while, hm? Well, to keep this short and frank, I would like to break something to you all. I've been getting reviews over the course of a few months asking me if I was going to finish the story and stuff like that. To tell you all the truth, I don't plan to continue the story because I either don't remember what I had planned, don't like the story, don't have the drive to finish it, or find the story so horrible that I better just leave it alone. I've developed a lot as a writer and just think that the stories could be so much better. So, that's all. I don't know how many people will even see this, considering it's been so damn long they've probably gotten tired of waiting for something new.

Anyway, thanks for your support, and who knows? Maybe I'll make something new and actually finish it. XP

-Totally Yatal


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